As Claymore and I agreed, he is not interested in a long distance relationship. So we just broke up over the phone.
You'd think that I'd be sad, or depressed, but this conversation has actually uplifted me, put me in a good mood.
My voice softened, and I said gently, "I do still love you. Very much."
And I meant it.
And then, much to my surprise, he said "I love you too..."
"Do you?"
"Yes. On some level, I know that I still love you, though it may not be a very deep level."
That feeling of... upwelling joy? Stomach acid? No, more like stomach ecstasy... filled me, the one that comes upon me in fits of sentimentality and romantic silliness.
I told him that he could always come visit me, crash with me. That he still mattered to me, that I still wanted to have a conversation with him about Us, even though we were broken up.
He said definitely.
On a much less romantic note...
For the first time in my life, I will have a bathroom that is ALL MINE. MINE!!!!!!