OK Cupid questions

[danaeris]

So, I want to submit some questions to OK Cupid, but I thought I'd ask you guys to screen the questions first. Suggest other answer options, or edits to the answer options given. I especially had difficulty with Question 1.

Question 1:
Which statement best describes your feelings and thoughts on sharing things with your partner(s), and on privacy?
(1) Assuming successful therapy/healing that makes all past trauma no longer traumatic to recount, you would like to eventually be able to share all important or formative experiences and facets of your personality with your partner.
(2) Wanting to share all of yourself and be completely open is unhealthy.

Question 2:
Which statement better describes how you communicate?
(1) I strongly prefer to communicate in a subtle manner.
(2) I will sometimes communicate subtly, and sometimes directly, depending on a variety of factors.
(3) If subtle communication fails, I will almost always communicate directly and explicitly.
(4) I don't bother with subtlety. I communicate directly right away.

Question 3:
Are you codependent?
(1) What is codependence?
(2) I'm not codependent.
(3) I'm codependent depending on the relationship.
(4) I'm codependent.
(5) I'm a recovered codependent.

Question 4:
When you're in love with someone, and you're at loose ends, which do you default to wanting?
(1) Spending time with myself
(2) Spending my time with the person I'm in love with

Comments

[plymouth.livejournal.com]

on question 1 I would leave out the bit about therapy. I would simply say:

you would like to eventually feel comfortable sharing all important or formative experiences and facets of your personality with your partner.

I think that adding "feel comfortable" covers the possibility of therapy.

I'm curious about the codependant question - would it be used to match codependants with other codependants? Or to avoid such matchings?

[danaeris.livejournal.com]

Either. Are you familiar with the OK Cupid interface?

[plymouth.livejournal.com]

ok, finally signed up. I'd been being lazy about it.

[vvvexation.livejournal.com]

Q3: I think you're only allowed four options.

Q4: I'd like "either/neither/depends on circumstances" or some such thing as a third choice.

[metallic-wings.livejournal.com]

Besides four options, there is also a word limit... some of your possible responses will definitely not fit.

(Just checked)... yup, I think the limit is something like 50 characters.

[emmett-the-sane.livejournal.com]

Yes... it is insanely short.

I got really disillusioned after OKcupid rejected two questions of mine that I worked carefully over for a few days before submitting, and at the same time passed through a whole slue of what I considered to be terrible and repetitive questions. So Qu, don't get your hopes too high that they'll be accepted.

That said... the second answer to #1 is worded with a natural bias that makes it negative, even though you were trying not to. I share the same bias, so I'm unable to reword it adequately for you. But here's an attempt: "I like to keep some things about myself private from my partner."

[plymouth.livejournal.com]

Going through the questions now I came on one that is basically your first question, but in MUCH simpler form.

#64
Which is more important in a healthy relationship?

1) Maintaining privacy
2) Total openness

coming in late

[terpsichoros.livejournal.com]

Question #3 suffers from a problem of people's self-perceptions. Fewer people will admit to being co-dependent than actually are, and the question as stated does not screen false negatives from real ones.

One could ask "Are you a drug addict or alcoholic". However, very, very few people would respond "yes". If you ask more subtle questions, you'll get better answers.