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I am ok. I seem to have put my emotions in a box... or at least those ones.
Apparently, the reason why we had no notice, the reason why we STILL don't know why he died, is that he stopped going to see the doctor a YEAR ago. He was 93. He was my last surviving grandparent -- I never knew any of the others.
I am still waiting to hear more information about the memorial service; I'm expecting it will be sometime this weekend, probably Sunday at this point.
In the meantime, I'm going to continue to try to live my life normally, although I'm trying to put less pressure on myself to follow the diet, exercise, get work done, etc. It's hard, though. I feel like a bad person for "using this as an excuse" to not work or eat properly. In my mind, if I can possibly cope with working, I should be.
On the list for today -- Borderlands, for some good sf and fantasy books to distract me from my trauma, Good Vibes, and Foot Worship. Also, of course, burritos in the mission. Company is MORE than welcome. Being around people feels good right now.
I'm still hoping to go to S&P. I haven't gotten permission yet to bring Furry, but if I'm not packing and feel up to it, being around good friends would be good. If you could give the two of us a ride, please let me know. In the meantime, I'll have to contact![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
karenbynight to make sure I can bring Furry. Edit JUST got an email giving me permission. We should be there tonight if Furry is willing and circumstances allow. woo.
deedeebythebay and coyote3502 were wonderful. They took care of me AND their kids, and let me spend the night, which felt a heck of a lot better than sleeping alone in my bed. Unfortunately, not only is her knee killing her, but DeeDee's middle child seems to be ill. :(
People have been commenting and sending me kind notes. I really appreciate it. You are all wonderful friends.
Apparently, the reason why we had no notice, the reason why we STILL don't know why he died, is that he stopped going to see the doctor a YEAR ago. He was 93. He was my last surviving grandparent -- I never knew any of the others.
I am still waiting to hear more information about the memorial service; I'm expecting it will be sometime this weekend, probably Sunday at this point.
In the meantime, I'm going to continue to try to live my life normally, although I'm trying to put less pressure on myself to follow the diet, exercise, get work done, etc. It's hard, though. I feel like a bad person for "using this as an excuse" to not work or eat properly. In my mind, if I can possibly cope with working, I should be.
On the list for today -- Borderlands, for some good sf and fantasy books to distract me from my trauma, Good Vibes, and Foot Worship. Also, of course, burritos in the mission. Company is MORE than welcome. Being around people feels good right now.
I'm still hoping to go to S&P. I haven't gotten permission yet to bring Furry, but if I'm not packing and feel up to it, being around good friends would be good. If you could give the two of us a ride, please let me know. In the meantime, I'll have to contact
karenbynight to make sure I can bring Furry. Edit JUST got an email giving me permission. We should be there tonight if Furry is willing and circumstances allow. woo.deedeebythebay and coyote3502 were wonderful. They took care of me AND their kids, and let me spend the night, which felt a heck of a lot better than sleeping alone in my bed. Unfortunately, not only is her knee killing her, but DeeDee's middle child seems to be ill. :(People have been commenting and sending me kind notes. I really appreciate it. You are all wonderful friends.
