Eat my poetry

[danaeris]

Paradigms

Trapped outside myself
But not in you
Dishes break, falling on the floor
As I sweep my arm across the table.

It isn't enough.

I asked for the stars,
And you should have known
I didn't mean those
I spoke in scientific terms:
The sun is a star,
But your "morning star" is not.

You should know better.

I don't ask much
After all: I'M the one
Shut out from her inside.
But you insist on your shiny metaphors
And your geocentric, even youcentric
Paradigm shift.

And I'm tired:

Tired of playing buzzword bingo,
when I don't even know the buzzwords.

It's hard to hear that
But I challenge you: walk a mile with my uterus

What? What's that? You want me to walk a mile in YOUR shoes?

Don't be ridiculous. Those shoes are so last year.

Comments

[harlequinaide.livejournal.com]

It's almost like a response to my poem from earlier this week. Is that intentional? (It's got the stars, the breaking dishes...)

How are you with commentary/ constructive criticism? I never post a poem unless I'm at a point where I can take it, but not everyone is me. If they were I'd have trouble finding my shoes on the morning, because I could keep stealing them.

I'd eat your poetry anyday!

[marius23.livejournal.com]

I really like it! Great imagery. Some excellent phrases. Nice twist ending.

I second the question re commentary.

Also, would it it be okay if I linked to it from my journal?