Ramblings

[danaeris]

Being a light sleeper sucks. My mother stayed up late and got up early, and so I got very little sleep last night. Tired girl!

Sometimes I feel like my life is about inaction.
Don't eat anymore, you already had enough.
Don't date that person, it would be too much drama.
Don't go out, you don't have the energy.
Don't be active, or move, it will cost valuable money.
Don't say anything, you might regret it.

Maybe right now that's all the better part of valour. That doesn't make it any more fun. I feel like an automaton, going to work, going home, "escaping" through TV or book, and then sleeping just to wake up and repeat in the morning. I think I feel guilty when I don't do stuff with my evening time, but when I force myself to be active and productive, I get emotionally exhausted and frustrated with the never-ending to-do list. I can't win, but that's probably just the fatigue talking.

I've been reading Katherine Kurtz' Deryni books. They're fun. Her writing style in these books strikes me as somewhat immature and two-dimensional, but I'm enjoying it nonetheless.

This weekend is busy. Firefly/Serenity Saturday, and then Mississauga with friends Sunday. Gaming tonight, assuming I don't pass out from exhaustion beforehand. And next weekend is DC with lariel, and then the weekend after that is TO Kink, and then the weekend after that is NASW/CASW, and then the weekend after that is Samhain.

No rest for this wicked girl, or at least, not during October. Yeehaw!

Comments

[aaangyl.livejournal.com]

Most "don't" have corresponding "do"s. If the negativity's getting to you, maybe you can hangout on the "do" side for awhile?

Do go exercise, and if you *really* want the treat, earn it first so it's a double reward.
Do examine the nature of your attraction to drama-prone individualss. Resolving this allows for identifying "do"opportunities in the future.
Do pamper yourself, seek out "active" relaxation, in which you're not passively vegging out but still developing a sense of peace/calm/relaxation - painting or editing photos or drag queening around to gay dance musicis a good source of this active relaxation for me.
Do awaken your creative mind, and find ways to be active without spending money. Or, better yet, while EARNING money. The big big big key to "earning money" is finding something abundant, creative a value for it, and taking it somewhere it's more scarce. "Knowledge work" mostly involves moving things from one's experience and head to paper, but that's only one example of intangibles as a strong resource.
Do question the nature of regret from saying things. Examine and question the fear. What's under the regret? Which parts are yours and which parts are others'? How far does your responsibility and power over another's feelings really extend? Are you accepting any power or responsibility or consequence that doesn't or shouldn't belong to you? What about the flipside, where are you extending your own power and responsibilities to others?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_te_/]

Sometimes I feel like my life is about inaction.
Don't eat anymore, you already had enough.
Don't date that person, it would be too much drama.
Don't go out, you don't have the energy.
Don't be active, or move, it will cost valuable money.
Don't say anything, you might regret it.

My entire summer has been that way...I can sympathise.

T.

[polywolf.livejournal.com]

>No rest for this wicked girl, or at least, not during October. Yeehaw!

are you saying that your wicked? i dont think your that wicked

[jackspryte.livejournal.com]

OH MY GODDESS we have the same mother!

My mother physically stresses me out when she comes over. I often get ill as a result of the stress. She carries this almost tactile bubble of stress and worry around her that says don't do that or this and watch out the world will get you if you do that!

"There all gonna laugh at you" attitude that has kept here in fear and from doing tons of stuff in her life.

She stays up all night when she comes over and she has a (Literally) two to three hour "winding down ritual" that she does to go to sleep. She'll start at 10 or 11 and eventually she will go to sleep some time around 12 or 1.

I'm a light sleeper and it drives me nuts!