(no subject)

[danaeris]

[13:54] DanaesFriend: now if I could only get the boy thing fixed *shakes head and laughs*
[13:54] danaeris: That's a hard one... :(
[13:54] DanaesFriend: pun intended? ;)
[13:55] DanaesFriend: yeah, it is, but I’m actually in a pretty good mood about it
[13:55] DanaesFriend: I’ve developed a sort of resigned-but-not-depressed-but-amused thing about it
[14:00] danaeris: Yeah. I've been trying to understand my own emotional and lust reactions with the same sex.
[14:01] DanaesFriend: yeah?
[14:03] danaeris: Well... I often don't notice when I'm in love with a girl.
[14:03] danaeris: And I think I fall in love with girls more easily
[14:04] danaeris: But it is less primal
[14:04] danaeris: there's less heat to it
[14:04] DanaesFriend: yeah, interesting
[14:04] DanaesFriend: I definitely notice different dynamics with boys in general too, for me
[14:04] DanaesFriend: and it's not something I’ve entirely worked out
[14:05] DanaesFriend: I have a lot harder time ... doing whatever it is I normally do to flirt, when I’m attracted to a guy
[14:16] danaeris: yeah
[14:17] DanaesFriend: I think part of that for me is really an expectation that any particular new guy will not be interested in me, it's scarier to flirt with a random guy
[14:18] danaeris: than with?
[14:18] DanaesFriend: a random gal
[14:19] danaeris: Yeah.
[14:19] DanaesFriend: most guys are straight :)
[14:19] danaeris: ah, from THAT point of view
[14:19] danaeris: Of being concerned that you'll step on a straight guy's toes
[14:19] DanaesFriend: I think it's part that, but ... I think there's also a remnant of direct fear of some guys responses to finding out I’m queer, as well
[14:20] DanaesFriend: that was the fear that ruled my coming out process
[14:20] danaeris: It's scary
[14:20] danaeris: Even to me, when society seems to so greatly approve female bisexuality
[14:21] DanaesFriend: yeah. Mine seems to reflect being harassed, somewhat beaten up with anti-gay ephitets (sp?), and being ostracized for a year at a school--the latter b/c the other kids thought I was gay (I didn't have a specific orientation at that point, near as I could tell)
[14:22] danaeris: y'know...
[14:22] danaeris: it never occurred to me until recently that some of the poor treatment I got in school was due to being queer
[14:22] danaeris: But it might have been.
[14:22] danaeris: According to my brother, as a kid I was obviously queer.
[14:23] danaeris: Or, I gave all "the signs"
[14:23] danaeris: It reminds me of that study that was circulating lj for a while...
[14:24] danaeris: the one that showed that bisexual people weren't less likely to encounter gay bashing... they were just less likely to attribute discrimination to being bisexual.
[14:24] DanaesFriend: *nods8
[14:24] DanaesFriend: hard to sort that all out
[14:24] danaeris: yeah
[14:25] DanaesFriend: I do get by it at times
[14:25] DanaesFriend: but it's still something I need to process
[14:25] danaeris: yeah. Ditto.
[14:26] danaeris: I need to figure out when I'm interested in a girl before I can hit on her
[14:26] danaeris: And, although I rarely find men attractive if they aren't part of my social universe, the same is not true for girls
[14:26] danaeris: Right now I've got it for a girl who may not be an option at all
[14:26] danaeris: That's the weird thing. When I've got feelings for a girl, I'm content to leave it that way. (as friends)
[14:26] DanaesFriend: owww, yeah
[14:27] DanaesFriend: cool that you have that greater ease there