(no subject)

[danaeris]

I got more sleep last night than usual, but I'm more exhausted than ever. I crashed last night early. I hope I'm not coming down with something...

Last night I had an emotionally vivid dream (ie. the details weren't vivid, just the emotions in it). It was the kind that leaves you yearning for people, places and things which were just a dream — the peace I find in the company of the love I don't have, the ecstasy of being held by a lover's arms which don't exist.

This isn't unusual, per se. But it still hurts. There's a feeling of loss, even though I know I never had these things. It's something like the pain and fear you feel when you imagine that your love is leaving you, or worse, might die. Not as intense, and yet worse in its own way.

It has been a long time since I was single this long. At first it was deliberate, and then, imposed by the lack of options. I know somewhere out there is a person with whom I could share love, passion, commitment ... a life. I just wish the universe would present them to me so I can get on with it.

Comments

[dicedork.livejournal.com]

I hate dreams like that, when you grieve to wake.

[ebenezer.livejournal.com]

Not to change the subject, but:

the ecstasy of being held by a lover's arms which don't exist

should be "that" rather than "which". I thought we cleared this up already :)

[ebenezer.livejournal.com]

Good people are hard to find. Whatever you do, do not compromise your standards or expectations.

[tocityguy.livejournal.com]

Have faith. You will find somebody when the time is right. Not before and not after. There are a lot of good people out there, but sometimes it takes a while to find them.