hair

[danaeris]

The situation:

The hair is pretty damaged for a variety of reasons...
lice shampoo
combing through for lice
bleach damage left over from college
poor care of the hair

The hair is many different lengths, including some that has broken off at chin length or shorter. Maybe that will happen again if I start over, but maybe I could avoid it and do it right.

My hair grows Really Fast -- chin length to bottom of butt length in about 4 years.

I want a human hair flogger made out of my own hair; Victor in Seattle says it would cost ~$120 to get it made.

The timing is ideal -- it would be perfect to cut it off for my naming or right afterwards. And very symbolic.

Then again, I love my hair so much. Is cutting my hair a symbol I need? And could I wait until my hair is knee length, and then cut some off to make the flogger in question? Or would the bottom of hair that length be too damaged to use?

I may or may not choose to make a silly poll about cutting my hair, but I think comments are much more personal. Here's what I'd like to hear:

• symbolic paradigms to work in that do or don't involve cutting the hair to mark this transition
  
• recounts of the experiences of other long haired folks who have done a similar symbolic sacrifice of their hair

I'm also interested in hearing honest, non-silly comments about how much my hair impacts my attractiveness for you, or other reasons why you don't want me to cut it, or any other thoughts you have on all this.

Comments

[divineseduction.livejournal.com]

I hacked mine off (from about current-length (waist-length for those of you who don't know me) to just about shoulder length. It was good for me. But then I cut it again. And that was bad. (from shoulder, to just at the chin)
It was after a .. particularly hard lesson to learn, that hurt, a lot. I pretty much destroyed some people (one, maybe two), and I was.. yeah.
Tangent, though. Having my hair short helped me learn how to style my long hair. It just took .. practice. Anyhow.
Be sure you make the distinction in your head if you're cutting it off because it's damaged, or if you're cutting it for more of a metaphysical reason. (In my head) let it be one or the other.
When I cut it, I had a few people who stopped talking to me. Mostly superficial acquaintances, but still... Also, many people no longer recognized me.
If you want more of my .02, lemme know. I need to sleep.

[weirdodragoncat.livejournal.com]

I personally love your hair. Its long and beautiful. That said, it does not directly affect your attractiveness. I think you are beautiful regardless of hair length. Also, if the hair is getting that damaged, its probably best to cut (so to speak) your losses now before it gets worse.

And finally, ultimately, it is your hair and you are entitled to do with it as you will.

[sinboy.livejournal.com]

A friend of mine shaved and tattooed her head after a relationship ended.

[plymouth.livejournal.com]

my personal take is that cutting all your hair off is not necessary from a damage perspective. whether you have 3' of damamged hair hanging from your head or not, the new hair that is growing in will be healthy hair. I bleached half of my hair spring of my senior hear when it was below waist-length and dyed the other side a dark red. The bleached side became significantly thinner and more damaged. I decided not to cut it off. I dyed both sides back to the same color for job interviewing, which worked well enough that I did get a job, and swore never to bleach it again as long as I am keeping long hair. I waited patiently, trimming 1-4" a year and conditioning the hell out of it, until finally, this past fall, all the bleached part was gone and now the hair has started growing again. I don't think I got there any sooner or later than I would have if I had cut my hair short six years ago.

It does sound, however, like you have some other good reasons to want to cut your hair. The flooger idea does sound wayyyy cool. The idea of cutting it for a life-change I can't really comment on. It is not something I would ever do.

[unseelie23.livejournal.com]

If you're primarily doing this because of the damage to your hair, I would wait until after you've been to a decent salon and let them tell you what they can and can't do for it first. The only other advice I can give is 'be sure', because it will take a few years to 'undo' it.

And no, cutting your hair would not change your attractiveness to me... you're quite attractive and hair length isn't about to change that.

[rmjwell.livejournal.com]

I agree with the first paragraph above; talk to several hair care folks before moving forward with any decision.

As this was the first weekend I've met you (or at least recall meeting you) I have no long term impression about your hair and your attractiveness. You have a lovely face and your hair frames it nicely is all I can say. :-)

[lariel.livejournal.com]

For myself, I tend to prefer cutting off the damaged bits to leaving them and letting it be longer; but that's for the really damaged ends, and for cutting off 5", rather than the whole length, so the situation is a bit different.

It really depends on how ooky you think it looks. If you look in the mirror and think "Ugh dirty damage" you should probably cut it off so you can feel clean and smooth and pretty.

Though certain kinds of damage are likely repairable to different extents, the current set is probably never going to be like new.

Then again, long hair is awesome.

[ebenezer.livejournal.com]

First of all, I find you attractive, and I like your hair. But I doubt that cutting it off would make you less attractive to me. I think that it would be interesting, if nothing else. And I am told that in life, there are two kinds of things: fun and boring. Frankly, I think it would look good.

I have never had particularly long hair; the most I can say from personal experience is that split ends are icky. But Lissa is right that damaged hair will never be like new. So cutting it off may be necessary in the long-run before you can have hair that looks consistent throughout; the only question is whether it is better to do it in one shot or incrementally. I would certainly support either decision, but the only advice I can give is that if you are feeling that cutting it would be a good change right now, then go for it. There's no permanent damage, and obviously you've been wondering about how it would affect your appearance.

[cr0wgrrl.livejournal.com]

There is a distinct symbolism to cutting hair as a rite of passage. Once it leaves your scalp, hair is no longer alive, so the act of cutting off the dead cells of past years is highly appropriate for such a ritual. (Just make sure not to draw any Samson correlations of power loss in the act.)

[laura47.livejournal.com]

Cutting off too much of my hair makes me *sob*. Has for years, even when I'm not depressed. Be careful. I would not cut it shorter than mid-back unless you were *really* *really* sure this was what you wanted.

[dawnd.livejournal.com]

Agreed with those who think you should check with a hair care professional before making irrevocable decisions. I cut off about 8 inches last fall, mostly by my own choice. I wanted my hair to look great for my sister's wedding. When he had finished the job, though, I knew I'd made a mistake in letting him cut so much off. I cried. It didn't even reach my waist!!! *wah!* Fortunately, it's been growing faster than I had anticipated, and is back past my waist and just above my butt. I can hang with this, but it WAS a trauma.

Frankly, if I were you, and I were really thinking about doing something this drastic, I would have done it before all the lice checking. Just hack the stuff off (after putting it into a ponytail), and put it in a bag for a few months to kill all the lice, and shave the rest of your head. Both problems solved simultaneously. Having spent the time, I'd want to make sure it was worthwhile, and I'd want to keep the hair. But of course, YMMV. :^)

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

I would have done it before all the lice checking.

Well... yeah. OTOH, her long hair is nice enough that there was a certain aesthetic in running through it, even while looking for nits ;-).

My thoughts

[pusifoot.livejournal.com]

I love your hair. I love long hair on women in general. Then again, some women look fantastic in short hair, and I love it on them too. But here's the thing...

I had hair to my waist a year and a half ago. It was in *horrible" condition though - tangled constantly, dry, etc. I cut it off (to shoulder length) and haven't regretted it.

The thing with hair - it grows back. Once I finally got that through my head, cutting it off was easier, and it really was (for me) the right thing to do. I also found that once I cut off all the bedraggled, split, fried ends, it grew *much* better, felt better and was more fun for people to play with.

So if you can let go of it, for a little while, then I would say cut it and let it grow back healthy.

Re: My thoughts

[plymouth.livejournal.com]

The thing with hair - it grows back.

in general, yes, but I know that for me if I cut my hair short it will never be this long again. Because once it is short I will no longer feel guilty about doing eeeevil chemical things to it - all the things I've been wanting to do for years but haven't been because I'm committed to growing my hair. And I will think of fun shorthair styles to get it cut as, just like I used to before I started growing it, and since I'll only be cutting off a couple of inches rather than three feet I won't feel like I'm sacrificing much to cut it yet again and so I will keep doing it. It took a lot of patience to get it this long and I'm travelling on a long wave of momentum (nearly 13 years now!) that I don't think I would be able to achieve again.

but that's about me, not questioner. you gotta know your own headspace in regards to how you deal with your hair. (hairspace?)

[elf]

I had long hair. As long as yours, maybe a touch longer. It had gotten to the "annoying" stage--sitting on it even *after* I thought I'd moved it aside, and so on. (It had been stable for several years, and then I got pregnant. Apparently hair grows more when you're pregnant, at least for some women.)

About five years ago, during a particularly depressing stretch, I cut it all off. Put it in braids, chopped the braids off, then went to one of those "$12 haircut" places to get it trimmed to respectability. It had been 17 years since my previous haircut. My head felt funny for more than a week. My hair felt funny for almost a year, when it grew back enough to put in a ponytail.

Notes about long-to-short transitions:
Don't expect your hair to grow back quickly. Some people do, but others don't... how fast it grew when you were a teen is *not* necessarily what you'll get now. Some people cut off long hair and it never reaches the same length again--something in their diet or lifestyle has changed enough that it just won't. (Don't wanna scare you. Straight, thick hair is most likely to grow back all the way. But keep in mind that it might not.)

The first few days, the hair will be flat; it's been stretched straight. Do not get a serious styling done during the first week after cutting it. After that, it bounces in all sorts of weird directions that you're not used to; this is closer to the shape it'll try to hold (until it gets long enough to be too heavy).

After that... a few months later, I got it bleached & then dyed. When I retouch the bleach, I try to only get the roots that have grown out; the dye doesn't seem to damage the hair. (Temporary veg-based dyes are pretty mild. That's why they don't stay in long.) My bleached-and-greened hair is stronger & healthier than many people who regularly perm, heat-curl & hairspray their hair.

It would change the way you look. Drastically. You can't know how drastically. At first, that would be really nifty, 'cos it's different, and different is interesting. I can't tell you if you'll still like it in five months, and it's not something you can change your mind about later.

It would change your self-image. And NOBODY ELSE WILL NOTICE. It will shock you, how oblivious everyone is to how differently you see the whole world. Strangers in the street will react to you differently; your friends will give you occasional funny looks but otherwise not really change. You would feel like you've done this major life-transition, and everyone else will think, "oh, she got a haircut." (Remember, most people get haircuts every few months.)

If you're going to do it, now would be the time: summer with short hair is a joy to experience. You'll spend five months saying "I am *never* gonna put up with that heat again," until it gets cold and you realize why everyone wears scarves.

OTOH, if you want a flogger made, it may not work right (or last long) if your hair is currently seriously damaged. (Have you tried 3-Minute Miracle conditioner by Aussie?)

[dazzlynn.livejournal.com]

I had long hair all through high school. I couldn't wait to cut it off after I graduated to let go of the person I thought I had to be. It was a great decision. I would like to cut it off now, but the boy likes it. I'll entertain him a while longer.

I hold the belief that 1) it's just hair. it'll grow back, it shouldn't define you or how people feel about you and 2) hair much past the shoulders is too long. I am not a fan of really long hair.

If you feel you should cut it, cut it. If people don't want to talk to you because of it, do you really want them in your life now? There were people that were upset that I cut it, and found me less attracite. There were people who found me more attractive with it really short (like 2" or so).

My main point of advice. Be prepared not to like it if you do cut it. It will pass, but don't think you'll love it right away. It'll take some getting used to. And also think about locks of love. I recently donated hair in honor of a friend's mother with cancer. She cut off her waist length hair to donate as well.

my .04

[dazzlynn.livejournal.com]

http://f1.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/mysockmonkey/album?.dir=/7591&.src=ph&store=&prodid=&.done=http%3a//photos.yahoo.com/mysockmonkey


http://f1.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/mysockmonkey/my_photos

"haircut" album

[plymouth.livejournal.com]

And also think about locks of love

the main problem with that plan is that locks of love doesn't want damaged hair. they want fresh uncolored unbleached hair.

also, locks of love has other issues:
http://www.livejournal.com/community/longhair/312346.html

[brian1789.livejournal.com]

You'll be beautiful with or without hip-length hair. Personally, I'm fond of long hair, and if I were involved with you I'd probably be lobbying you to not cut it too short (for my own selfish reasons... I really love the "cathedral effect" when the hair cascades down on either side and makes a kind of tent).

However, I have no vested interest... other than the personal time spent in hair-checks ;-).