Deciphering the Questioner
May. 25th, 2004 11:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
danaerisThings to keep in mind when leaning on me:
Sympathetic and empathic
When you're obviously full of shit, I'll see it. But when there is value to both sides, I will often seem to take the side of whoever is in front of me. I'm not, actually. On one level, I'm advising you to do what is right for you (which can be viewed as taking sides). I would do the same for the other person, however -- which means that I may be giving the two people conflicting advice, because sometimes what is best for one person is not best for the other.
Sometimes this taking of sides will last past the time you are in front of me, but when I see the other person, I'll quite easily "switch" sides. Simply because I'm good at being sympathetic and empathic. Enough conversations with both sides, and I'll sort of reach a consensus in my head about what is actually going on.
Idealistic and Optimistic
This is something you have to watch out for with me. You see, I'm a little naive and idealistic and optimistic. I don't like seeing my friends in pain, in conflict, etc.
Therefore, sometimes I will believe what I want to believe. For example, if there are 4 possible explanations for something causing angst, and the one that will promptly resolve the angst for all involved is reasonably likely, I will probably hammer on that possibility until it has been disproven beyond all reasonable doubt before turning to the others. I'll SUGGEST the others, but I'll get hung up on the "magical" solution. Hence, phrases like, "This must all be a misunderstanding," or, "I really think you just need to reconsider your medication/dosage."
I am writing this in part to burn it into my brain so I can move beyond these tendencies, and in part so I can give you all the filters to understand what I'm saying, and what it actually means. So there. :)
Sympathetic and empathic
When you're obviously full of shit, I'll see it. But when there is value to both sides, I will often seem to take the side of whoever is in front of me. I'm not, actually. On one level, I'm advising you to do what is right for you (which can be viewed as taking sides). I would do the same for the other person, however -- which means that I may be giving the two people conflicting advice, because sometimes what is best for one person is not best for the other.
Sometimes this taking of sides will last past the time you are in front of me, but when I see the other person, I'll quite easily "switch" sides. Simply because I'm good at being sympathetic and empathic. Enough conversations with both sides, and I'll sort of reach a consensus in my head about what is actually going on.
Idealistic and Optimistic
This is something you have to watch out for with me. You see, I'm a little naive and idealistic and optimistic. I don't like seeing my friends in pain, in conflict, etc.
Therefore, sometimes I will believe what I want to believe. For example, if there are 4 possible explanations for something causing angst, and the one that will promptly resolve the angst for all involved is reasonably likely, I will probably hammer on that possibility until it has been disproven beyond all reasonable doubt before turning to the others. I'll SUGGEST the others, but I'll get hung up on the "magical" solution. Hence, phrases like, "This must all be a misunderstanding," or, "I really think you just need to reconsider your medication/dosage."
I am writing this in part to burn it into my brain so I can move beyond these tendencies, and in part so I can give you all the filters to understand what I'm saying, and what it actually means. So there. :)
