(no subject)

[danaeris]

I'm probing the question of healthy responses to being asked out. I chose the name Dalton because I've known male and female Daltons.

If you would like to expand on your response or add to it, please comment on this post.

[Poll #255572]

One could turn this poll around and rephrase it as, "How interested in someone do you have to be before you'll go on a date or two with them?"

Comments

[jadasc.livejournal.com]

I'm fairly certain I've never met a Dalton. I can't even think of a popular Dalton I haven't met.

[dicedork.livejournal.com]

It really depends on where someone's "meaning threshold" is. Some dork who's never kissed a girl might think a conversation was the road to committment, and we both know people who will fuck someone twice a month and never think twice about anything heavy.

My personal "meaning threshold" hits at about the point heavy petting becomes oral sex (in either direction). At that point I want to know a little about someone, be interested, yaddah yaddah. I wouldn't think twice about a date or two, and seeing what developed.

Basically, what the hell? It's, at least, something to do, right?

[ericsilverbear.livejournal.com]

I could see myself dating someone even if the thought never occured to me... I seem to believe that that is the purpose of asking someone out: To let them know that I am interested in them...

[caillean.livejournal.com]

I think the answer depends on how interesting going on a date with them sounds. And also how much meaning is put into a date, is a date a sign of committment? or a vehicle to get to know you better? For different people it's different.

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

I've only ever met one Dalton.

I wouldn't get into a "relationship," in a big-R way, with someone until I knew them pretty well and/or had been dating them awhile. But I don't mind using dates as a means to get to know someone, if we're otherwise compatible.

[metallic-wings.livejournal.com]

I tend to see dating as the road that leads to a relationship rather than just something to do - although getting to know someone better, seeing how the dynamics emerge, might be interpreted by some as dating - depending on the standpoint. "Dating" is usually a more loaded term though, carrying some kind of expectation - I wouldn't want to agree to go on a "date" unless there was some intention on my part of going into it with at least the notion of "I am getting to know this person better for the purpose of seeing if a relationship would be possible" instead of just "getting to know the person better as themselves, unrelated to me in that way". If that makes sense...

[unseelie23.livejournal.com]

I would have to be 'uninterested' in them to turn them down for a date, but I consider going out with someone to get to know them over dinner or coffee 'a date'.

And, as I suppose it's pertinent, I'm single at the moment.

[benndragon.livejournal.com]

Dating is not something I've ever managed to get. I have friends and some of them I fall in romatic-type love with and if they reciprocate the romantic-type love with me often end up as SOs but not always depending on context (i.e. compatability). I go hang out with my friends rather than having dates. Mainly because the times I have tried doing the dating thing it has utterly failed to result in anything substantial or interesting. I have far better luck having one night stands that turn into relationships lasting for several years. . .

[merovingian.livejournal.com]

I guess a lot of it would depend on the individual circumstance.

For me: If I'm in a place where I don't have much free time, am feeling hermit-like, or am otherwise not in a mood or situation where meeting someone new would be something I'd want, I'd probably express a general interest but lack of specific ability.

If I'm in a place where I'd be interested in meeting and being with new people (which is usually) and have the time for it (which less common) then I'd give it a try and see what I think. The distinction between "date" and "hanging out and seeing if someone seems neat" is pretty thin.

Of course, I would probably be more interested in dating someone, strictly on the basis of their being named Dalton and being gender-neutral. :)