state of the career
Feb. 27th, 2002 11:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
danaerisSo much has happened lately, and yet nothing has happened, amazingly. Now, I know that sounds like a contradiction, but hear me out.
Since I last posted, I handed in my graduate school applications, and all the forms I needed to file to graduate from MIT. I've dealt with mad deadlines for my internship, which has been going really well. I've been enjoying the whole science journalist thing tremendously.
But emotionally, and spiritually, I've been so busy with my classes ( and I like them and I'm enjoying them, don't get me wrong...) that I haven't had the time to grow or change. Nothing has happened on that plane of existence. I even feel like I've been out of touch with the things going on with my friends.
Yesterday in writing workshop we were reading stories, and this one girl's story was about this girl moving from Boston to New Orleans, striking out on her own. Well, ok, the character had her best friend with her. But seeing that...
I found myself yearning to do so myself, to go to a strange but interesting city I'd never been to before, all on my own, and start new there. Obviously, with a job lined up. But this was a new sentiment for me. A new emotional experience... I've always felt strongly that I wanted to stay in Boston, and failing that, return to Toronto. My heart still aches for Toronto sometimes.
I still haven't called Drew back to talk to him about my not being able to deal with a relationship with him. This is unusually lame of me; I think it has to do with telephones. If I could do it over zephyr, or email, or in person, it would be fine. But over the phone means I have to work up the energy to make the phone call. ick. That's really pathetic.
On the other hand, I've liked the person I am a lot better lately. I've been less irritable, less obnoxious, and just a nicer person. Yay.
I'm also teaching skating regularly again for the first time in a long time. This is good. It makes me feel good about myself, because it is something where I KNOW I'm competent, and being competent is easy for me. I had many years of 'vocational training', after all.
I feel like I've moved into another calm stable period where I'm happy with myself and my life. Except, there was that tarot reading, which told me that my current direction into science journalism was a poor choice, and that I should follow the path to fiction, but that it would branch off again before I got to the end of that path.
This unsettled me, but the truth is that right now I'm walking both paths---fiction AND science journalism. They aren't mutually exclusive. Not yet. Not for quite a while.
I guess that's all for now. Have to get up early to teach, so I should sleep. Night!
Since I last posted, I handed in my graduate school applications, and all the forms I needed to file to graduate from MIT. I've dealt with mad deadlines for my internship, which has been going really well. I've been enjoying the whole science journalist thing tremendously.
But emotionally, and spiritually, I've been so busy with my classes ( and I like them and I'm enjoying them, don't get me wrong...) that I haven't had the time to grow or change. Nothing has happened on that plane of existence. I even feel like I've been out of touch with the things going on with my friends.
Yesterday in writing workshop we were reading stories, and this one girl's story was about this girl moving from Boston to New Orleans, striking out on her own. Well, ok, the character had her best friend with her. But seeing that...
I found myself yearning to do so myself, to go to a strange but interesting city I'd never been to before, all on my own, and start new there. Obviously, with a job lined up. But this was a new sentiment for me. A new emotional experience... I've always felt strongly that I wanted to stay in Boston, and failing that, return to Toronto. My heart still aches for Toronto sometimes.
I still haven't called Drew back to talk to him about my not being able to deal with a relationship with him. This is unusually lame of me; I think it has to do with telephones. If I could do it over zephyr, or email, or in person, it would be fine. But over the phone means I have to work up the energy to make the phone call. ick. That's really pathetic.
On the other hand, I've liked the person I am a lot better lately. I've been less irritable, less obnoxious, and just a nicer person. Yay.
I'm also teaching skating regularly again for the first time in a long time. This is good. It makes me feel good about myself, because it is something where I KNOW I'm competent, and being competent is easy for me. I had many years of 'vocational training', after all.
I feel like I've moved into another calm stable period where I'm happy with myself and my life. Except, there was that tarot reading, which told me that my current direction into science journalism was a poor choice, and that I should follow the path to fiction, but that it would branch off again before I got to the end of that path.
This unsettled me, but the truth is that right now I'm walking both paths---fiction AND science journalism. They aren't mutually exclusive. Not yet. Not for quite a while.
I guess that's all for now. Have to get up early to teach, so I should sleep. Night!
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Date: 2002-02-28 05:12 am (UTC)ugh! well other than it not being Drew, I'm having *exactly* the same problem. I hate phones, but it's too hard to meet up with the person in realspace, and IM or email seems unfair (they don't have zephyr). I've been putting it off for weeks now. Must force self to do this, really... *sigh*