![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
On communication
May. 2nd, 2006 12:25 pmI realized something this morning.
I have always prized myself on being a good communicator, but a lot of the recent problems I've had have stemmed from NOT communicating, which has been quite confusing to me, since it is contrary to my self-image.
But I think I get it.
Once I start communicating, I'm a good communicator.
However, I'm lousy, or at least mediocre, at getting started. I put it off. I tell myself it isn't urgent. I hold it in, I wait for a good time, never admitting that maybe there never WILL be a good time.
This comment I put in my journal sums it up, to some extent:
"I think this was building for a while. I saw it, but I thought I could handle holding it a little while longer. Instead, the dam burst. I wonder when I'll learn to stop building dams in my heart?"
The dams always break. They ALWAYS break. And it is never good.
This is a lesson I need to pound into my head. And I'm sure I'm not the only one -- this is a fairly universal difficulty, from what I've seen of my friends and lovers.
I have always prized myself on being a good communicator, but a lot of the recent problems I've had have stemmed from NOT communicating, which has been quite confusing to me, since it is contrary to my self-image.
But I think I get it.
Once I start communicating, I'm a good communicator.
However, I'm lousy, or at least mediocre, at getting started. I put it off. I tell myself it isn't urgent. I hold it in, I wait for a good time, never admitting that maybe there never WILL be a good time.
This comment I put in my journal sums it up, to some extent:
"I think this was building for a while. I saw it, but I thought I could handle holding it a little while longer. Instead, the dam burst. I wonder when I'll learn to stop building dams in my heart?"
The dams always break. They ALWAYS break. And it is never good.
This is a lesson I need to pound into my head. And I'm sure I'm not the only one -- this is a fairly universal difficulty, from what I've seen of my friends and lovers.
