Cheerfulness wanted

Today has not been a good day. I found out some more information about PCOS that pissed me off even more at doctors, even if it isn't entirely their fault, except in terms of GPs not being up on the latest (ie. within the last three years) in PCOS. Then it became clear that the school I taught at in SF has still not sent in the form for my loan cancellation; that's worth about 2000 to me. Grrr.

That all set the tone -- pissed off, angry, and feeling powerless.

Then it became closer to time for my brother to disappear and, I suspect, he may never live in this area again (I think he wants to settle in Vancouver after the Thailand trip). I feel like I've squandered an opportunity. I want to cry but keep on fighting it back. He just left, so I'm alone in the house now.

My eyes are really soapy... and I've been sneezing. I think I'm allergic to something, but it makes the crying worse.

I'd been hoping to spend time with sassy_fae and her kitties for some friend and cat therapy, but she's had at least as bad a day and is fleeing her home to be with her parents. *hugs to her*

Truth is I have work I have to get done today. I need to focus and write. Maybe some more caffeine and a little chocolate will do the trick...

So, cheerful things, to remind myself. Please tell me your own cheerful things as well!
-The cancellation can be applied to the loan at any time
-now I know what I learned about PCOS, so even if doctors are doing the opposite of what is good for us, I can fix it for myself, and tell my friends
-my brother has left me all of his furniture, which he may never reclaim. Included was one dresser he definitely doesn't want, and so I can strip the paint and go to town with the artisticness! I also have his DVDs for the time being. w00t.
-I had a really great day yesterday which was very productive. My room and bathroom are super clean and my possessions and files are all organized
-Friday and Saturday I had good fun with nifty folks
-Next weekend I have NO PLANS! yay! I can make plans, I can go wander Locke Street, hang with friends, or whatever. This Is Good.
-My brother loves me, and I love him.
-there is chocolate raspberry gelato in the freezer. nuff said.

Teh sick

My crappiness today is not just sorrow at my bro leaving, nor the other stuff going on in my body. It would appear I have a cold of some sort. Sneezing, sniffling, soapy eyes, itchy runny nose. Much thanks to velvetpage for offering some friend-time, but its probably best I said no, since I may be contagious. We don't need the little one getting a double whammy!

I just watched Batman Begins on bootleg dvd of my bros. I would have paid to see it in the theatre, but everyone I wanted to go with had already gone or promised someone else to see it with them. So I did it this way when the opportunity presented itself. It was fun. A little overly full of banal buddhist sayings, but that's in style these days, isn't it?

Anyway, I finished one of the writing things I had to do today, and hopefully tomorrow I'll do the other.

In the meantime, an early night to bed in the hopes of rising in better health. And, doing my best to ignore the emotions crappy gives rise to. Don't think, just be.