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Nov. 18th, 2004 11:08 pmA comment in ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
dot_cattiness led me to go read some posts in pro anorexic and pro gaining communities.
It was disturbing.
Interestingly, some of the girls who are calling themselves anorexic aren't... they have weight goals which are reasonable for their height. Although their methods may not be healthy, that doesn't seem anorexic to me. Yet, they idolize their friends who fast for a week or more at a time, reflecting what is perhaps an unhealthy mental state. I don't see any young men in the anorexic communities encouraging the women (or vice versa). But I suppose mainstream media does that for them.
In contrast, the gaining/feeder communities are a mixture of bbws and the men who love them. Interestingly, these men do not simply find large women attractive; they also find the act of gaining attractive.
I take issue, I think, with all of these camps. It is a goodness to see the beauty in your loves, no matter their size. But to idealize one size above others is dangerous; different women are shaped differently, and different women are healthiest at different sizes. To idealize one size above another is to make a woman (or man, for that matter) feel that if she is not that size, she will not be loved.
Now, obviously, we all have our preferences, our turn-ons and turn-offs, and often, we can't help it. I suppose it becomes problematic when we start being pushy and vocal about these things. Likewise, when we encourage a state that is unhealthy. I often tell people how beautiful and attractive they are regardless of weight (though only when it is true from my perspective). But when I do so, it is with the hope that they can stop assessing their desirability based on their weight, and simply make the choice to gain or lose weight for their OWN reasons -- and hopefully, for ones that are healthy both in body and in mind. To establish a preference regarding weight endangers the mental health of anyone inclined to codependence or eating disorders.
And there you have it: my two cents.
dot_cattiness led me to go read some posts in pro anorexic and pro gaining communities.It was disturbing.
Interestingly, some of the girls who are calling themselves anorexic aren't... they have weight goals which are reasonable for their height. Although their methods may not be healthy, that doesn't seem anorexic to me. Yet, they idolize their friends who fast for a week or more at a time, reflecting what is perhaps an unhealthy mental state. I don't see any young men in the anorexic communities encouraging the women (or vice versa). But I suppose mainstream media does that for them.
In contrast, the gaining/feeder communities are a mixture of bbws and the men who love them. Interestingly, these men do not simply find large women attractive; they also find the act of gaining attractive.
I take issue, I think, with all of these camps. It is a goodness to see the beauty in your loves, no matter their size. But to idealize one size above others is dangerous; different women are shaped differently, and different women are healthiest at different sizes. To idealize one size above another is to make a woman (or man, for that matter) feel that if she is not that size, she will not be loved.
Now, obviously, we all have our preferences, our turn-ons and turn-offs, and often, we can't help it. I suppose it becomes problematic when we start being pushy and vocal about these things. Likewise, when we encourage a state that is unhealthy. I often tell people how beautiful and attractive they are regardless of weight (though only when it is true from my perspective). But when I do so, it is with the hope that they can stop assessing their desirability based on their weight, and simply make the choice to gain or lose weight for their OWN reasons -- and hopefully, for ones that are healthy both in body and in mind. To establish a preference regarding weight endangers the mental health of anyone inclined to codependence or eating disorders.
And there you have it: my two cents.
