Writers

I know that I am obsessed with my own words, the words I write. I often will re-read what I have written when there is little or no value to be gained from re-reading it.

There are three possible explanations for this behaviour:
(1) I am a writer. All writers are obsessed with their own writing!
(2) I am self-absorbed at least in this area.
(3) I am sufficiently forgetful that I find novelty in reading the very things I myself wrote.

I think there may be a grain of truth in all of these. I also think that 1 and 2 are the same, except that in 1 I'm making claims about people other than myself "It's ok, that's normal for a writer!"

So I'll pose it to you, folks. In addition to any other comments you'd like to make regarding this entry, please riddle me this:

Do writers, in general, tend to be somewhat fascinated by their own writing?

Bed

Asking nicely for advice...

Do I want this bed:
http://www.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=67b0de21b305880084db

It is $125 for frame, mattress and box spring, Queen sized four year old pillow top.

Thing is, if I get a bed now, I have to pay to transport it to my current place, and then in less than a month I have to pay to transport it to the new place. On the other hand, having a bed right away would be nice, and having a twin sized futon (unseelie's), a queen sized bed (mine), and a full sized bed (the previous tenant's) in my room would amuse me.

Opinion

sickness and then relationship logistics

I'm still sick, unfortunately; yesterday I didn't feel sick, I just was stuffed up. But apparently eight hours sleep last night was not enough, and I'm back to that sickly feeling, even though I slept well last night.

Anyway, on other topics:

Questioner's Series of Inquiries into Relationship Logistics

Logistics can often promote both negative and positive aspects in a relationship.
When I was dating Claymore, he and I both would default to spending time with each other every evening, and try to remember to schedule time with our secondaries at least once a week. But we didn't have a set day scheduled with our secondaries, and we also did not have any set alone time.

This had advantages and disadvantages.
To the secondary relationship, it meant...
It meant that our secondary relationships were often only theoretical. It meant that our secondary relationships didn't get forced over painful bumps. It meant our secondary relationships sometimes got neglected. But it also meant that the strength of our secondary relationships relied on the level of desire we felt to be spending time with that person, and how they returned that feeling, built in with a subtraction for how busy we were with our own lives and our primaries.

To the primary relationship, it meant...
We rarely lacked for time spent together, but we almost always lacked for QUALITY time spent together. If I'm sleeping with someone every night, but only see them for 10-15 minutes plus time to have sex before sleep, we're not having much actual interaction of the emotional, spiritual, or intellectual sort. We also started to take each other for granted more than we should have. The magic was gone after a while.

I find relationships to be a constant struggle in this respect.
If you schedule time together on a regular day or assume time together, you start taking each other for granted. On the other hand, f you are depressed or busy or enraptured by some new Toy, and you don't schedule time together, you may not GET any time together.
If you are entranced with each other and fall into a pattern of spending as much time as possible with each other because you really want to, you start taking it for granted. When the enchantment fades into a more steady relationship, this can lead to taking each other for granted.

I feel like at any given time, I'm constantly struggling to schedule enough time with everyone such that no one is taken for granted, no one is failing to have their basic needs met, no one is being forced to spend too much time with someone, etc. This includes the entire poly family.

To be fair, back in Boston I worred about the whole poly family more than here. Here, unseelie has no other SO, and tyrsalvia has chrisla, but I have no idea what their arrangements are with each other, nor if they are happy with them, nor what they each want. I guess in Boston it helped that it was easy for me to see claymore or arcticelf's other SOs when I WASN'T with them, thus having an independent friendship and relationship with them, and thus gaining a personal interest in making sure they are getting what they need. I still prefer relationships wherein everyone is having their needs met, but I feel I would be intruding if I started checking in on tyrsalvia and chrisla's relationship.

Meanwhile, I'm often struggling to NOT fall into a pattern where I will start to take time with unseelie for granted, because I don't ever want to take him for granted. The same goes for tyrsalvia, except somehow I think that it is less likely to happen with her.

Anyway, there goes some ruminations on poly and relationships and logistics. A lot of it applies to monogamous relationships too, honestly... Enjoy folks, and feel free to comment. :)