Stop pathologizing me!

[danaeris]

So, the psychiatrist did two things that really bothered me, aside from not acknowledging that Effexor is Evil.

(1) When discussing my relationship with the Spryte and the Wolf, she got all, "oh, it sounds very parental." Like, a single person can't date a couple who are older without it being an imbalanced parental relationship?
(2) When I mentioned the kink in passing, even though we had already discussed that I didn't really do self-harm, she got all, oh, the connection between depression and self-harm and kink, blah blah blah. WTF?

If this is the most open minded medical service that Toronto has to offer, I weep for the city.

I'm wondering if I should see about making an appointment with the head of Sherbourne to discuss staff education? Maybe I should talk with CD from TBN, since she used to work there.

Comments

[polywolf.livejournal.com]

Did you tell her that there are times you teach us things, and are parental of us?

There are times I teach those older than me things.

ladystyx teaches me new things all the time and can be parental to me.

[merovingian.livejournal.com]

I'd say switch psychiatrists if you have the option. I was in the same situation (psychiatrist pathologized poly, and I didn't even start mentioning kink) and that was the only workable option for me.

[jackspryte.livejournal.com]

I have heard of this "pathologizing poly" sh*t! merovingian tell me more if you can.

Do many psychiatrists do this? You sound personally experienced in this realm.

Or could it be conversely a PMM question!

[merovingian.livejournal.com]

I don't know how much it happens in the field in general. I know it happened to me. I was seeing a psychiatrist for ADHD stuff (nothing relationship related) and spent most of every session disclosing, explaining and (increasingly) justifying my lifestyle.

The psychiatrist was bad for a lot of other reasons, too (he cursed at me and called me insane) but the pathologizing poly ended up wasting a lot of my time.

Happy to say more about it. I don't know much about PMM, but I'm happy to discuss it over IM.

[kallisti.livejournal.com]

In gross terms, Sanity is simply the majority's perceived consensual reality. When you deviate from that consensual reality, you are a viewed as a deviant. To most of the Psych profession, sadly, deviant = ill.

Search for psychiatrist who has a consensual reality closer to your own!

ttyl

[metalana.livejournal.com]

Toronto certainly has more open-minded shrinks than this. I even got good poly-tolerance from the MBSR teacher (an MD).

The TorontoPoly yahoo group website has a "database" listing therapists. There may not be any psychiatrists or psychopharmacologists listed, but you could get a referral from one of the other types of therapists. Hershel is always offering referrals to anyone who calls him.

Is it easy to switch psychiatrists, or do you have to go back on the waiting list? Do you have to get your talk-therapy from the same person who prescribes meds?

Staff education sounds good, though definitely get CD's advice, or even go through her.

[garden_hoe21]

I agree. CD can probably hook you up directly with the person you need to be talking to. It's always easier that way.

[garden_hoe21]

My shrink thinks M is "a guy I'm dating" who I met at "a party." My shrink is excellent but I don't want to risk him not understanding something, sad as that is. I personally feel that he doesn't need to know everything.

[jackspryte.livejournal.com]

Yeah was she engaging you? It sounds like it but that would be increadibily unorthodox on such an early date. Is she visibily queer?

I would question her on everything, confront her directly and decisively. I have done this on quite a few mental health practitioners it scares the hell out of them especually are well prepared.

Unless she is expecting you to defend yourself?

Either way she sounds like a tool.

Anti-poly and anti-kink could exist within an LGBT community I suppose but not succesfully and not for long I would think She probably has complaints already tabled if so.

Check out the psych communities for T.O. Ask to speak to her director/head/boss as well about concerns. You think she would know better.

This must be demoralizing you have waited so long for care at Sherbourne.

I agree with will279802 that I often question which of us is the most "mature" at times. I think we have our domains but you are far more than a "child" and we more than "parents".....F*CK!

Did she even examine other more relivant aspects like the serendipity, the long dating/bonding process (it took us months to actually decide to date) etc.

The age difference is hardly noticable to most IMO. 6 years I think.

[jackspryte.livejournal.com]

sorry I meant to say: especually when comments/input is well prepared and reasoned.

Remind them of their responsibility, their power and their perspectives (because we ALL have filters) ask her to put them aside or you may be incompatible.

You can ask for someone else can you not? They have two or three practitioners don't they?

BTW...*hugs*

[kittnslave.livejournal.com]

:hugs: This is why I haven't found a counselor/phsychiatrist myself - the last one I went to was able to identify that I have abandonment issues (which I already knew) and when she found out I was poly she stated ' you do realize that by getting involved with so many people so emotionally you are setting yourself to be abandoned by more people'
I looked at her like she was insane and said ' but the chances of all of them leaving at the same time is minimal and I have a greater support system when that happens that I wouldn't have if I followed the accepted form of relationships' at that point she brushed it off and closed the session - I didn't go back.