danaeris | Job musings/fears

questioner: I'm so excited and scared about this job interview.

questioner: It feels too good for me. I'm not supposed to have job security, or be making that much money!
Friend: You deserve good things.

questioner: ok. It's not that I think I'm not a good person or that I don't deserve happiness.

questioner: It's that... This job makes as much money as my FATHER made, the salary on which he raised me, my brother, and supported my mother.
Friend: Oh, da. Of course, SF has inflated costs.

questioner: I just seems too good to be true, and I feel frightened that I won't live up to its standards, even if I get it.

questioner: True

questioner: It's STILL more money than I'm used to having, even with inflated costs.

questioner: About twice as much money as I'm used to.

questioner: And its not like they've offered the job to me yet.
Friend: You'll do great.

questioner: It's really hard to look at this, and both want it desperately, want to believe that it will be yours, be scared of getting it and having to produce good work, and not want to get your hopes up
Friend: A $42/year job? Definitely.
Friend: Uh, $42k/year. You're definitely qualified.
Friend: You've got impressive and specialized skills.

questioner: um. If you say so dear. *twitch*
Friend: If you were just chasing dollar, you could probably get a tech writing job making that much, and make $60k within two years.

questioner: ick
Friend: Ick?

questioner: ick tech writing job. I'm not chasing dollar. I'm chasing happiness

questioner: What it comes down to is I'm a big ball of emotions, including the dominating emotion of Fear.
Friend: I can understand why.
Friend: Eventually, interviews get less scary.

questioner: Or... excitement and fear mixing.

questioner: This is my first real interview, I think. I mean, I interviewed for the Tech Review internship, but I wasn't particularly scared. How much of a failure can you be when they're not paying anything for you to work for them?
Friend: You'll be great.

questioner: thanks. I guess. *pause* you know, it really isn't clear to me if you're trying to be reassuring, or actually truly believe that I will do well/get the job.
Friend: Both.
Friend: Well, I don't know if you'll get the job - that depends on stuff I can't know (like what their budget and hiring procedures are like).
Friend: But I can say that if you've got an interview, it's because they think you're qualified. And you seem to be good at having a professional demeanor.

questioner: I hope so.

</lj-cut