A science fiction fan/engineer named Terry Newcombe once wrote an technical paper for a University of Waterloo engineering newspaper/letter on the physics of sex in space. Wish I had a copy.
This song involves particularly weird scansion and reliance on the music to tie it together.
A Reconsideration of Anatomical Docking Maneuvers in a Zero-Gravity Environment by Diana Gallagher [Wu]
Making love in a zero-G environment May not produce the satisfaction we project. The proposed erotic possibilities Deny Newton's laws of motion and how they will affect Our romantic inclinations...in space stations.
Momentum changes in proportion to the force Acting on a resting body and making it move; And every action is opposed By an equal reaction of the same magnitude In the opposite direction...without exception...
Now I may be wrong but it seems to me When contemplating the dynamics of sex That trying to do it in zero gee May present some pressing problems we did not expect.
Making love in a zero-G environment May be more hazardous than advocates assume. Adrift in compartments three-dimensional, Pelvic push may quickly find lovers parted and marooned, Or rebounding off the walls...ricochet free-fall!
Zero gee may have industrial advantages For pharmaceuticals, ball bearings, and steel, But in matters of human sensuality friction is essential. Future studies may reveal that weightless copulation...induces frustration.
And now I may be wrong but it seems to me That carnal stimulation will be desired, And so in order to do it in zero gee Some new techniques may be required.
Making love in a zero gee environment May foster changes in our moral attitudes. Nature provides for the planet bound But the state of the art in orbit must improve. Desperate lovers may engage...space age sex aids!
Together, tethers would prevent a random wandering, Magnetic harnesses incorporating alternating poles Could sustain an interaction electrically, Rear thrusters would supply perfect docking control Enter speed and rhythm set. Easy on the retro jets!
Now I may be wrong but it seems to me That we'll never be sure unless we go and try it. So for reasons of promoting space industry We should encourage the idea--the general public will buy it.
Making love in a zero gee environment Is a problem we must solve to survive. Oh, with a dash of erotic inginuity, And invention of necessity, science will arrive at a feasible solution To the 21st century...sensual revolution!
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2006-05-24 09:26 pm (UTC)ttyl
no subject
Date: 2006-05-25 06:15 am (UTC)A Reconsideration of Anatomical Docking Maneuvers in a Zero-Gravity Environment
by Diana Gallagher [Wu]
Making love in a zero-G environment
May not produce the satisfaction we project.
The proposed erotic possibilities
Deny Newton's laws of motion and how they will affect
Our romantic inclinations...in space stations.
Momentum changes in proportion to the force
Acting on a resting body and making it move;
And every action is opposed
By an equal reaction of the same magnitude
In the opposite direction...without exception...
Now I may be wrong but it seems to me
When contemplating the dynamics of sex
That trying to do it in zero gee
May present some pressing problems we did not expect.
Making love in a zero-G environment
May be more hazardous than advocates assume.
Adrift in compartments three-dimensional,
Pelvic push may quickly find lovers parted and marooned,
Or rebounding off the walls...ricochet free-fall!
Zero gee may have industrial advantages
For pharmaceuticals, ball bearings, and steel,
But in matters of human sensuality friction is essential.
Future studies may reveal that weightless copulation...induces frustration.
And now I may be wrong but it seems to me
That carnal stimulation will be desired,
And so in order to do it in zero gee
Some new techniques may be required.
Making love in a zero gee environment
May foster changes in our moral attitudes.
Nature provides for the planet bound
But the state of the art in orbit must improve.
Desperate lovers may engage...space age sex aids!
Together, tethers would prevent a random wandering,
Magnetic harnesses incorporating alternating poles
Could sustain an interaction electrically,
Rear thrusters would supply perfect docking control
Enter speed and rhythm set. Easy on the retro jets!
Now I may be wrong but it seems to me
That we'll never be sure unless we go and try it.
So for reasons of promoting space industry
We should encourage the idea--the general public will buy it.
Making love in a zero gee environment
Is a problem we must solve to survive.
Oh, with a dash of erotic inginuity,
And invention of necessity, science will arrive at a feasible solution
To the 21st century...sensual revolution!