Rant against the mayonnaise

[danaeris]

Mayonnaise is gross. Mayonnaise is fattening. And its EVERYWHERE.

What initial in ABLT stands for Mayonnaise, sir? Where on your sign did it say, "With mayonnaise"?

Fuckers. Hold the fucking mayonnaise. I didn't ask for an ABLT with mayonnaise. I asked for an ABLT. I hate you all.

Comments

[auros]

Amen, sister.

[danaoshee.livejournal.com]

I know your pain...
I don't like mayonnaise. I don't like ketchup. I don't like sour cream.
For most of my life, I've avoided buying sandwiches and hamburgers because of the huge annoyance that is convincing them that I want it *DRY*. No, really sir, NONE of your icky sauces.
TRUTH IN CONDIMENTS! Put it on the menu if you'll put it on the sandwich!
*ahem*
done now.

[nathanjw]

Nothing in BLT says "bread", either. There are defaults and assumptions in the world, or we'd never get anything finished.

Besides, you're giving mayo a bad name. Sure, stuff in a jar that's been on a shelf for a year is pretty nasty, but you should try making it yourself sometime.

[mamapduck.livejournal.com]

Gotta agree with the man. mayo on a BLT is really an accepted default, not an aberration. Sucks when they ignore you though. (Don't get me started on the desecration of the Ultimate Cheeseburger.)

Also gotta agree that the stuff in jars bears minimal relation to homemade mayo. Like kraft singles vs. fresh mozzarella- both are technically "cheese" but they're whole different ballgames.

[kaligrrrl.livejournal.com]

Mayo is wonderful. I used to eat mayonnaise sandwhiches as a kid,
All hail Mayo, queen of condiments!

[je-reviens.livejournal.com]

I hate mayo!!!

I was once at a Pagan fest where I tried to explain my attitude towards our oversexed world. I said, "It's like mayo. It's EVERYWHERE. I am not afraid of mayo. I was not harmed or abused by mayo as a child. I've tried it and I will eat it occassionally if need be. But I tend to think the flavor takes over EVERYTHING. I prefer to taste the rest of life too, so I don't eat the mayo!"

However, at said fest I then discovered...ahhhh...what we now call "mustard". hee hee! Screw the mayo, hand me that tub o' mustard!

Sadly, a BLT comes standard with mayo IMO :-( and you have to specifically request none. I have the same problem with "dinner salads."

"What is on the salad?"

"Oh just lettuce and tomato and some cucumber."

"Is there cheese on the salad?"

"Yes, there is."

[......FUCKER, WHAT DID I JUST *ASK* YOU????....]

"Fine I want a salad, but NO CHEESE, no tomato and extra cucumber instead."

[salad arrives]

"Excuse me miss -- but I don't want croutons -- THAT'S WHY I ASKED -- so take it back and make me another!"

[salad arrives with croutons removed but large chunks of gross crouton crumbs fallen into the salad]

"Excuse me miss -- I AM ALLERGIC TO CROUTONS [lie] so take this back and MAKE ME A NEW ONE"

[and kiss your damn tip GOODBYE]