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Anxiety and irritability
Mar. 15th, 2005 01:43 pmKinda like pride and prejudice, or sense and sensibility?
For the last week or so, I've been having bad dreams. Either the frantic panicky sort where you can't find your tickets and you're not done packing and you need to be on the plane, or the really sad kind where you die and you're rather depressed about it. Sadly, these dreams have been pretty damned consistent. Also, two of the recent dreams have included stuff about being queer or somesuch and hiding it from parents, or coming out to them, or somesuch.
Yesterday and today, I've also been very irritable, cranky, grumpy. Maybe it's PMS. Maybe it's lack of good sleep. I don't know, but can it stop, please?
I've been questioning polyamory's place in my life lately. I've been running into a lot of people who say that polyamory sounds nice, but it would be more trouble than it's worth, and I have to admit that there's some truth to that. Active polyamory without drama or angst can be really hard to come by. I'm sure there are ways to organize a relationship to keep it as low-drama as possible, while still being polyamorous. But, with stability as the watch word which brings me happiness and sanity, I'm not convinced that I can handle the stresses which go with polyamory. Forever? For now? I don't know. I'm just thinking out loud here, after all; it doesn't mean anything certain.
For the last week or so, I've been having bad dreams. Either the frantic panicky sort where you can't find your tickets and you're not done packing and you need to be on the plane, or the really sad kind where you die and you're rather depressed about it. Sadly, these dreams have been pretty damned consistent. Also, two of the recent dreams have included stuff about being queer or somesuch and hiding it from parents, or coming out to them, or somesuch.
Yesterday and today, I've also been very irritable, cranky, grumpy. Maybe it's PMS. Maybe it's lack of good sleep. I don't know, but can it stop, please?
I've been questioning polyamory's place in my life lately. I've been running into a lot of people who say that polyamory sounds nice, but it would be more trouble than it's worth, and I have to admit that there's some truth to that. Active polyamory without drama or angst can be really hard to come by. I'm sure there are ways to organize a relationship to keep it as low-drama as possible, while still being polyamorous. But, with stability as the watch word which brings me happiness and sanity, I'm not convinced that I can handle the stresses which go with polyamory. Forever? For now? I don't know. I'm just thinking out loud here, after all; it doesn't mean anything certain.
