Awakenings, changes, transitions... good morning

As deedeebythebay said, paradise lost.

Underslept, processing a tremendous amount of information and some incredible new experiences, ill prepared for the rest of the week, I crawled out of bed this morning.

I'm less confused by the minute. I'm drowned in work for the next week.

By that token, I'm hoping that by next week I'll be DONE. I have 8 chapters left, plus three final exams to write and grade. Then I can focus on all the other things in my life that I'm excited about. I can stop and think, I can relax, I can rest.

Today is the first day of my diet. I don't have time to look up weight watchers and learn the system, but in the meantime I can commit to eating as healthy as possible. As soon as the work is done, I'll set myself up on the diet, and then I'll finally go back to the gym. I'm very excited about that.

Conveniently, I have therapy tonight. We have a lot to talk about, a lot to process.

I may have lost paradise, but freedom is only a few steps away and there is so much to do with it. A list of movies I want to see, a mile long list of people I want to spend time with, a list of projects I want to work on. I can't wait.

oh yeah

I have fangs.

Must learn to bite better.

Mmm.

Also: After all the things that I did this weekend, there are no marks left on me! To all those who variously harrassed me over the weekend, you'll just have to try harder next time. ;p

A few quick notes about hair

I've cut my hair chin length before. I look really cute with chin length hair.

It doesn't look as incredibly beautiful as the butt length hair does, however.

My hair has a history of growing quickly, pretty much my whole life. I would be really surprised if it didn't continue to do that, especially if I'm taking extra good care of myself.

I have trouble believing that friends will stop talking to me if I cut my hair, but if they do, fuck em. I do believe though that there are people who have a serious thing for long hair, and that cutting my hair would impact that.

Deciding to ignore some of the reasons for cutting or not cutting my hair because I should only have one reason doesn't make much sense to me. There are many factors involved in a big decision like this. There doesn't have to be just one reason (and I'm not saying that any of you said that, necessarily).

I've already donated to locks of love once. My next big bit of hair will be mine.

Currently leaning towards salvaging my hair if possible... I think I like having my hair this long too much to cut it. The ritual I'm doing at the beginning of July is about being true to myself, and removing something I value about my physical self seems like a stupid start.

If it turns out to be really damaged or unsalvageable, I may still consider it. But we'll see.

weekend plans

What's going on this weekend?

I could go to Ancient Ways, but I'd have to find a tent and a ride to do so. And I have a feeling I'll still have some amount of work to deal with that will keep me busy.

A friend asked me to visit her in Davis to help her with a garage sale, but that's awfully far away and I have no idea how I'd get there.

If nothing else, there are a number of movies I'd like to see, though I'm not sure what will still be in the theaters. Certainly, Shrek 2 and Harry Potter. Maybe it will be a movie theater weekend.

Or I could potentially have people over to watch movies here... there's always those movie showings I've been threatening for a while.

BTW, my bro got tickets, but for the last weekend in July instead of the July 4th weekend. So I guess he won't be going to DHP unless it gets scheduled for that weekend again.

wee

So since I'm somewhat struggling with depression and having trouble motivating myself to do the work I should be doing, I decided to do something else useful, and set my palm up to use the weight watchers calculator.

I need to drink more water. And have a little more food. I find myself annoyed at how small portions are on boxes.

The most frustrating part is cooking your own food and figuring out how many points that is. And eating out, unless it is a chain for which you have the nutritional info.

Really, all I need in order to calculate the points is the calories, grams of fat, and grams of fiber. Is that so much to ask for from restaurateurs? (just joking)