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Apr. 1st, 2003 10:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
danaerisCouldn't get up early enough for the 7:37 train. Took too long getting out of the house and missed the 8:07 train by 1-2 minutes. Still tired. Still hungry. Got to work one hour late, nearly, and missed a chance to chat with the dietitian I need to talk to to close up this article. Grrr.
Sitting in the train waiting for it to go, Hating Hating Hating the world, angry...
I started thinking. My form of intelligence is pattern-matching. I see patterns in everything, sometimes where they aren't. Last night I thought![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dragon_spirit and koga were playing a string quartet piece loudly, but when I turned off the brown noise, I didn't hear it anymore. I was taking the random brown noise and imposing the sound of a string quartet on it SOLELY IN MY HEAD.
I've been feeling for a while like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I'm not happy at this internship... too rigid and too far away. I'm not happy with my finances.
I made a list of all the things I need to get done. I was ocd about it, I know. But. Writing the list made me realize the only things that are on deadline of any sort aren't that hard, except the article for Home Energy, which I will enjoy.
One of the things that's been stressing me out is that until I get my room in order I can't find any of my stuff but more relevantly, my stuff will be in the hallways, kitchen, and/or living room, possibly annoyingdragon_spirit and Quincy. But you know? I bet they don't actually care. I'm pretty sure they don't, actually. And I could just ask them.
So I should go deal with the deadline stuff, and then when I have time clean and organize my room.
Problem is, I WANT to organize my room. I don't like leaving things half done like that. I like working straight through and getting it done.
Anyway, list making and napping on the train made me feel much much better. So that's something. I need to learn to cope with my rather strange brain...
Sitting in the train waiting for it to go, Hating Hating Hating the world, angry...
I started thinking. My form of intelligence is pattern-matching. I see patterns in everything, sometimes where they aren't. Last night I thought
dragon_spirit and koga were playing a string quartet piece loudly, but when I turned off the brown noise, I didn't hear it anymore. I was taking the random brown noise and imposing the sound of a string quartet on it SOLELY IN MY HEAD.I've been feeling for a while like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I'm not happy at this internship... too rigid and too far away. I'm not happy with my finances.
I made a list of all the things I need to get done. I was ocd about it, I know. But. Writing the list made me realize the only things that are on deadline of any sort aren't that hard, except the article for Home Energy, which I will enjoy.
One of the things that's been stressing me out is that until I get my room in order I can't find any of my stuff but more relevantly, my stuff will be in the hallways, kitchen, and/or living room, possibly annoying
dragon_spirit and Quincy. But you know? I bet they don't actually care. I'm pretty sure they don't, actually. And I could just ask them.So I should go deal with the deadline stuff, and then when I have time clean and organize my room.
Problem is, I WANT to organize my room. I don't like leaving things half done like that. I like working straight through and getting it done.
Anyway, list making and napping on the train made me feel much much better. So that's something. I need to learn to cope with my rather strange brain...
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-04-01 12:23 pm (UTC)And I'm hardly annoyed. It takes a lot more than a bookshelf (especially a humpylicious one) to get under my skin.