Too funny

[danaeris]

Someone sang this at the variety show at Pantheacon. I almost fell off my chair laughing. If this offends you... chill out. We all know there are Christians out there like this. It's actually kinda frightening.

Heart,
questioner


A Simple Hymn of Perfect Faith
Words: Dawn Oberg Music: Mike Kassel

I used to teach philosophy at Harvard
My I.Q. was two hundred and three
I was a genius then
Till I got born again
My brain is freshly washed, now you will see.

I'm just another zombie for Jesus
I'm just another robot for Christ
Jesus ate my brain, and withi it went my pain
If I don't have to think I'll be all right.

I once believed the pathway to wisdom
Was to question everything I read or learned
But the quest for human knowledge
Does not fit my Bible college
If it ain't in the good book it gets burned.

I used to worry about the world situation
It used to keep me up most every night
The preacher said "Son...
...It's just Armageddon.
Send me a cheque and you'll get through all right."

You'd feel much better if you'd taken Jesus
Since you won't shoot up Christ you can't be whole
The Spanish Inquisition
Is much like our Earthly Mission
We'll have to snuff your ass to save your soul.

I'm a flesh eating zombie for Jesus
I'm just another killer for Christ
Jesus ate my brain
And with it went my pain
If I don't have to think I'll be all right.
If I don't have to think I'll be all right.

Comments

Josh the happy freshman

[cos]

I knew someone like that, except he never went through the philosophical genius stage as far as I know - from what I heard, being born again was the way he lifted himself out of near-junkiedom in high school. I didn't meet him until he came to college. He went to Brandeis, because there were lots of Jews there, and he wanted to preach to them. We all called him "Jesus Josh".

Josh loved everyone. Everyone he met was his best friend, to be embraced and then forgotten until the next time - he had a hard time remembering who all these people were. In many other ways, his mind seemed vacant. By the third or fourth day of our freshman year, you could refer to "Josh from Texas" and everyone knew exactly who you meant. There was no question of them not having encountered him yet - everyone had. We took to calling him "Josh the happy freshman", and at first, we couldn't figure out what to make of him. He was so friendly! Until he asked you what your name was for the fourth or fifth time, hugged you, and tried once again to strike up a conversation about Jesus.

I had the misfortune of being Jesus Josh's TA for an intro computers class, in the same semester as I was also living on the same hall with him - a hall that had only three rooms, all singles, with mine at the end and his in the middle. I had to walk past his room to get to mine. He never went to lab hours for the class, he just asked me for help when I was walking to my room. He had to write a Logo program that could count from 10 to 1 using recursion, but he couldn't do it. He programmed "wholistically", and the concept that the order in which he put the Logo statements actually mattered, couldn't get through to him.

He routinely knocked on my door to give me tracts or talk to me and be my friend. If I told him to go away, he'd come back a few minutes later to inquire earnestly if he'd offended me. There was no getting rid of him. By the second semester, I'd gotten really blunt. I told him we were not friends. He accused me of trying to cut myself off from him. I told him he was right, that was what I was trying to do. It didn't work. He kept coming.

Eventually halfway through the next year, the school asked him to leave. In addition to multitudes of complaints from people on his new hall (which had a lot more people on him) that he wouldn't leave them alone, he also crashed the official Shabat dinner and tried to proselytize there.

I have many stories about Josh.

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

*snork* Yeah, being expected to turn off my brain and 'just believe' is one of my many quarrels with the branch of Christianity I was raised in.

A
applauding for her part

[lawbard.livejournal.com]

Geeeeee do I think thats a horrifically accurate statement of right wing christianity? I think I do!
but, what more do you expect from a religion that glorifies its followers as a bunch of herd animals?

[nomadmwe.livejournal.com]

*whap*
Bad monkey. No biscuit. The /religion/ is fine. Peachy, even. Some, sadly the most vocal, of it's followers have very much distorted it and it's messages into something quite unlike what it was intended.
Sad really, when followers of a perfectly good religion drive more people away from it.

[lawbard.livejournal.com]

Well, yes, generally. Its the interpretation of some parts over others that leads to insanity most of the time.

Still, the accepted allegory of the christian church by their own creation is that of a shepard and his flock of sheep...where the priests are the shepards and everybody else are sheep who follow his lead.

[nomadmwe.livejournal.com]

"Its the interpretation of some parts over others that leads to insanity most of the time."
Again, fault of the followers, not the religion.

"Still, the accepted allegory of the christian church by their own creation is that of a shepard and his flock of sheep...where the priests are the shepards and everybody else are sheep who follow his lead."
Plenty of Eastern religions teach a submission to the will of the universe, or other similar teachings. Same thing, I think. Having those who are more highly initiated in the belief system act as leaders, teachers, and authority figures is certainly not unique to Christianity, to be sure.

Questioner, if you want us to take this debate off your LJ and onto email, just say so. :)