Ugh: please kill me now!

[danaeris]

It's finally started. I have been assigned a brand module of 2500 words on Paper Shredders for Fellowes Canada.

Please kill me.

I'm in the process of applying to coach at several skating clubs. Please allow me my fantasy that I will get enough nibbles for business that I will be able to quit this job BEFORE the summer is over, rather than in the fall.

Meh!

Also, I would like to be awake so that I can actually get this damn newsletter written. But I keep on nodding off, and leaving several lines of 'ddddddd' on the page. oops.

Comments

[pyat.livejournal.com]

I have been assigned a brand module of 2500 words on Paper Shredders for Fellowes Canada.

WHAT?? That's the sweetest plum. Dammit. I wish I was back at work...

[ebenezer.livejournal.com]

ddddddd

good thing you're not using vi :)

[kallisti.livejournal.com]

Suggested intro:

"They Slice, they Dice, they even make Julian Fries!"

ttyl

making shredders interesting

[metalana.livejournal.com]

Possible angles:
- Preserving privacy and access to information: how likely are workers to shred what they should shred, but not the stuff they shouldn't shred?
- Environment: is paper recycled after shredding? What if it contains plastic credit cards or other objects that shredders can now handle?
- Alternative shredding technologies (cross-cut etc.)
- Measurements of difficulty of re-constructing shredded information
- Noise levels of shredders; workers' hearing safety
- Why are they so darned expensive???
- Penetration of shredders into the home, home office markets (penetration... see, you could work sex into this somehow)
- History of significant contemporary art pieces created from shredded paper, or performance art pieces involving shredding action

Good luck!

[danaeris.livejournal.com]

You totally make me giggle. And the scary part is, when you say things like that, I'm not entirely sure that you're joking...

[danaeris.livejournal.com]

Hee. If only I could write it like a bad infomercial! It would be fun. :)

Re: making shredders interesting

[danaeris.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, the mandate of this module is very narrow, and I don't have the freedom to write about all that stuff. :( But thanks for the thoughtful suggestions!