In which Pyat and Danae invent a new religion for the Canadian people

[danaeris]

We are very silly people.


[13:41] Danaeris: So, I have this fantasy, in which our supervisor leaves and you get her job. And then we find a nifty friend to replace you.
[13:41] Pyat: Like... Santa!
[13:41] Danaeris: It's a really sexy fantasy, you have to admit!
[13:41] Pyat: Rowr.
[13:41] Danaeris: I mean, it involves you making enough money that the rising gas prices won't be a concern anymore, not like they are now, anyway.
[13:41] Danaeris: And a friendly person benefitting, and no more Supervisor stupidity
[13:42] Pyat: Precisely.
[13:42] Pyat: Supervisor should inheirit some money or something.
[13:42] Danaeris: *sigh*
[13:42] Danaeris: yeah!
[13:42] Pyat: And not just get hit by a truck
[13:42] Danaeris: Or get a job offer she or her husband can't refuse
[13:42] Danaeris: somewhere far away
[13:43] Pyat: *dreamy sigh*
[13:43] Danaeris: "Nice work if you can get it"
[13:45] Pyat: *blinks* The contact person I have listed for the Telephone module is "Mr. David Suzuki."
[13:45] Danaeris: um
[13:45] Danaeris: ok
[13:45] Pyat: I don't think it's the same guy
[13:45] Danaeris: I doubt it.
[13:45] Danaeris: He doesn't strike me as a telephone guy
[13:45] Pyat: I bet he owns one!
[13:46] Danaeris: why, yes, I imagine he does!
[13:46] Pyat: It MUST be him!
[13:48] Danaeris: Clearly that logically follows from the fact that he likely owns a phone
[13:49] Pyat: Naturally. David Suzuki is a man of science, a man of infinite curiousity.
[13:49] Pyat: So, therefore, he'd be an expert on telephones.
[13:49] Pyat: He also owns an oven.
[13:49] Pyat: So he must be French chef!
[13:50] Danaeris: You know, it follows from your logic that David Suzuki must be like unto a God. After all, if his infinite curiousity is proof that he must have learned whatever struck his fancy, then he must be nigh omniscient.
[13:50] Pyat: And...?
[13:51] Pyat: If people in Vietnam can worship Victor Hugo...
[13:51] Pyat: We should worship David Suzuki. He created us.
[13:52] Danaeris: He is an essential facet of the Canadian identity.
[13:52] Pyat: And faucet.
[13:52] Danaeris: "The faucet that pours the Canadian identity: David Suzuki"
[13:52] Danaeris: But does that necessarily mean he created us?
[13:52] Pyat: Can you remember a time before David Suzuki?
[13:52] Danaeris: I cannot
[13:52] Danaeris: He is eternal
[13:53] Pyat: And now you realize the truth.
[13:53] Danaeris: I do. I have seen the light.
[13:53] Danaeris: Hallelujah.
[13:54] Danaeris: Thank you for saving me, Piet.
[13:54] Danaeris: I had no idea the Salvation Army's Canadian branch was so progressive!
[13:54] Pyat: Environmental Science is the way, the truth, and the life! // There's a religion in Vietnam with 8 million members. They worship Jesus, Buddha, Confucius... and Victor Hugo.
[13:55] Danaeris: Blasphemers. David Suzuki is the One True Way, and we Canadians are his chosen people.
[13:55] Pyat: The Northern Ideal. Strong and Free!
[13:56] Danaeris: Indeed! Strong, free, and freezing our asses off!
[13:58] Pyat: Winter makes us strong. Unlike the decadent Mediterranean races
[14:00] Danaeris: They think we are of no consequence, but we can rest shivering in our winter lair behind the veil of that facade plotting until we are ready to take over the world and make everyone be cleaner and more polite.
[14:00] Pyat: *grins* And eat poutine for breakfast
[14:01] Danaeris: Well yes. One of the great injustices in the world is that there is no research going into creating diet poutine
[14:01] Danaeris: That just shows that we live in a climate that is hostile and subconsciously prejudiced against Canadians.
[14:02] Pyat: The world fears Canadaaaaaa.


So there you have it. The One True Way.

Also worth reading: a commentary on fundamentalism which makes fun of EVERYONE! Yay!
http://www.livejournal.com/users/cargoweasel/308775.html

Comments

[iclysdale.livejournal.com]

A different fundamentalist knows the Revolution will arrive, sooner or later, as capitalism's inherent contradictions inevitably break down, punishing the rich in their mansions, destroying the greedy and sparing the righteous workers and poor, creating a paradise without leaders and without war or greed. How lovely it is for him to think of the paradise to come, late-stage communist or anarchist or anarcho-libertarian, when the corporate fat cats and bankers and fucking asshole rich yuppies are hanging from lamp posts and the people, the long-oppressed working class and poor can finally have their place in the sun, together, without strife or greed, and the State and the Corporation wither and die.

Yeah, 'bout right. *grin*

[velvetpage.livejournal.com]

You two crack me up. :)

[wytetygryss.livejournal.com]

It's definitely a more interesting conversation than I have at work... and worth a giggle or two.